Bad Run

So I decided to jump into w5d1 of the c25k challenge. The biggest reason that I chose week five is because it wasn't very complicated. Week 4 seemed a bit more involved as far as remembering when to run and when to walk...ok, yeah, it's a little embarrassing to admit that. Anyway.
Tonight, for the first time since I began running, I felt NO enjoyment in it whatsoever. It was hard and I didn't want to. My right leg hurt and I let it psyche me out. At the end of the second 5 minute running sequence (there were supposed to be three of them), I just gave up and went inside. After fuming at myself for about 5 minutes, I went out and finished the run, and even threw in a little bit of extra running as punishment for quitting! Because it certainly FELT like a punishment tonight.
Even though I ended up finishing, I still feel like I failed. That sort of thinking won't get me anywhere, but tonight I am doubting that I'm going to get anywhere anyway.
If anyone is reading this...do you ever feel the way I am feeling tonight ? I have read that a bad run is better than no run....that sounds great except now that I've had a really bad run I just feel BAD.

Couch to 5K???

Ok, so I ran another mile last night and tonight. That puts my week's mileage up to about 4 miles (I really need to keep track better). I seem to be stuck at the one mile mark. Different things seem to go wrong at a mile-sometimes I'm too winded to continue, sometimes my leg muscles are screaming at me, and lately I feel nauseous and dizzy by the time I reach a mile. I am attributing the latter problem to the stifling heat we have down here in Georgia. It got over 100 degrees today, and it's only June! I do try to run late in the evenings, but the heat and humidity get to me. Anyway, I'm getting off subject here. The point is, I run a mile and then I can't go anymore.
So! I am considering jumping into the Couch to 5k program I have read about online. I wouldn't start at Week 1 because I'm definitely beyond that, but maybe somewhere around week four. I haven't made any decisions either way, because the plan offers a little bit more structure than I would like. However, that may be what I need to push myself forward.
On a side note---adopting the "barefoot" running style has been the best thing that I ever did! My knee hasn't bothered me once since I ditched those blasted running shoes. I experience muscle soreness, but my joints are absolutely fine. I would encourage anyone who experiences a lot of joint pain when they run to consider the benefits of barefoot running.

Ran another mile last night. I really need a better way to keep track of mileage and progress on here. I can't find any gadgets to that effect yet, but I am a beginner blogging moron.
Oh yeah, and I couldn't resist the lure of the scale any longer. I lost 2 pounds, down to 215. And my waist has gone from 40 inches to 36. Good stuff, but such a looong way to go!

Miles Apart

Yesterday was a very important day for me. I ran my first mile!! If you would have asked me a month ago if I thought I would ever be able to run a mile, I would have probably burst into tears. I had that little faith in myself. Amazing the things that can change in a month!
It was a great moment. My husband and children were waiting at the mile mark cheering me along. My breathing was controlled, and my legs felt wonderful. I started out the run with a lot of negative thoughts, but I just tuned them out and tuned into my breathing and concentrated on the sounds of my footfalls on the asphalt.
I realize that, in actual distance, a mile is not very far. However, this achievement changed a lot for me. I set a goal,and I actually reached it. Now that I can wrap my brain around being able to run a mile, I'm starting to visualize a 5k in the near future.
I don't know how much weight I have lost so far, if any. I've decided not to concentrate upon weight loss right now. I have fallen in love with running, and because of that, I am shifting naturally into a healthier eating pattern. If I eat too much, or if I eat a food that is too heavy, my running will suffer for it. I'm finding that that is all the motivation I need to put down the chocolate cake! I know that the weight loss will come, because I'm finally doing the right things for my body. I'm looking forward to seeing my pants size shrink, but I truly don't think that anything will be able to beat the sense of accomplishment I felt yesterday.
A mile is a short distance, physically. Mentally, I am miles apart from the woman who almost gave up three weeks ago.

Ran 2/3 of a mile yesterday! God, that's pathetic but it's also my personal best, and I'll take it!! I can feel the mile creeping up and I want it so badly. I never in my life thought that I would be able to run a mile, and I think if I can do that, then I will probably be able to do just about anything.

Progress

Ran a little further today. My neighborhood goes in a circle and the diameter is 1/3 of a mile long. Last time I walked a lap, ran a lap, walked a lap, and ran half a lap. Today I walked a lap, ran a lap, walked a lap, and ran an entire lap. I am still getting winded pretty easily, but it was much easier today than it was two days ago.
I'm feeling pretty confident, even after such a small improvement. Maybe this is why running is so addictive...because it just gives you so darn many opportunities to feel good about yourself. God knows I need all of those I can get to combat all of the horrible insults I deal myself on a daily basis.
By the way...I've ditched the running shoes for now. I'm running in an $8 pair of water shoes that I picked up from WalMart. My best friend convinced me to give this "barefoot" running a try...there's a lot of science behind why running shoes ultimately end up hurting instead of helping, but I'll get into that at a later date when I'm more of an expert on it. For right now, its amazing to run and not be in excruciating pain afterword. My joints feel perfectly normal, and that includes the knee that I hurt. Does anybody want an almost brand new pair of Asics??? I don't think I'm going to have a use for them anymore.
Anyway, things are looking up for right now. I'm going to try to get past a lap tomorrow. (I am so pathetic!! Why can't I fast forward to running REAL distances?? I can't wait til I hit the one mile milestone!!)

Here we go again!

I am still panting as I write this post, but I just had to let everyone (ha!) know that I RAN today!!! My endurance is pretty pathetic, even more so than it was before I got injured. But I ran 1/3 of a mile before I tired out which is better than nothing at all. In total, I ran 1/2 a mile out of a 1 1/2 mile walk...but I am back in the game!!