No Time

Where is time going? Why is there never any available to me? There are so many things that I want to do. I want to keep up with this blog better, for one. Spend more time with my: husband, children, friends, parents, sister, you name it and I probably would like to have more time with them. I would like to be able to actually blow dry my hair and throw on some makeup before rushing out the door...that hasn't happened in a while.
I would like to, no I NEED, to have more downtime just for me. I'm not a social person at heart. Although I love my friends and family, I need time to just flat out be alone and read, write, do rithmatic, I don't know just decompress and regroup. I need that, haven't gotten it lately, but need it. And the worse part is that at the end of the day, I feel like I got NOTHING accomplished. So where did my damn day go, huh? What was I even doing when I was having to say no to all the things that I really wanted to do?
I'm seriously on the verge of losing it here...it's gotten to where I want to cry myself to sleep at night because I feel like I'm losing my identity. Luckily for me, this coming week is my last week of school for the quarter, after which I leave for my Bahamas cruise. It will be sorely appreciated and I think of nothing more lately than spending four tropical days in a fuity alcohol-induced daze. I will not even look at my cell phone after I get on the boat!!
Exercise and diet? I'm trying. I am getting my exercise in, for sure. I think its the only thing that keeps me sane. I'm doing fairly good on my diet, but I have been around some major food pushers lately and I need to learn how to resist pushy food pushers better. My weight keeps fluctuating from 208 to 203...I'm getting pretty frustrated and discouraged, and while I know that I need to do better--- I'm not deluding myself when I tell you that I try every day to feed myself the best diet possible. The inches are disappearing, though. I'm going to try to drink more water and eat less salt...two of my eternal crosses that I bear. Love salt. LOVE salt.
Anyway, going for a run this afternoon in between paper writing and test studying. Did Level 3 of the Shred for the first time yesterday...all I can say is wow.