Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Blizzards, Knees, and Self Pity

OK, so how ironic is it that as soon as I start a running blog, I sustain a knee injury serious enough to keep me from running? Personally, I see the hilarity in it. However, my attitude over the past couple of days has generally NOT been humorous in the least. I feel like a total moron. I should have kept to my walk/run sequences and this never would have happened. I decided to try to compete with people other than myself and I pushed myself too far. I wanted to sail through the beginner stage and really become a "runner" without putting in the hard work necessary to do so. And now I'm sitting at home having a banana cream pie blizzard from Dairy Queen for dinner and feeling sorry for myself because I can't run. And thinking to myself that since I can't run, all bets are off on my diet as well. That is so ME...I am so ALL or NOTHING and it destroys everything I try to do!! The defeatist thoughts are coming in waves and I feel powerless to stop them. And to top it off, my stomach is killing me now because I've been eating crap for three days and I just had ice cream for dinner because I'm a moron!!!
I really chewed over this post for a long time before I started to type it out, because I wanted to present myself and my attitude in a more positive light. The caged little bird bravely singing her song and persevering through her trials or what not, but that's not honest. That isn't where I am right now. I am in a bad, self-pitying place and I'm using it for an excuse to slack off in other areas besides running. I am in pretty serious pain with my knee, as well, which isn't good for overall morale. If I can't do anything else, at least I can be honest with myself and anyone who reads this. JENNIFER ISN'T DOING SO HOT RIGHT NOW.
So. Deep Breath. Game plan. Er...I'm not really sure right now. I'll give it some thought tonight, and get back with you guys in the morning. I know one thing though: I don't plan on being defeated. I am going to run that damn 5k, whatever it takes. So I'm going to lick my wounds (and my ice cream) tonight, and tomorrow life goes on!!!

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