Saturday, July 24, 2010

Running on Empty


Here we go again. This is really becoming not so much of a running blog as it is a place for me to complain. But I really need help this time, guys. I need somebody to tell me "Hey, I've been there, this is normal, you can move past it, and here are some killer tips to make everything perfect from here on out!" Can somebody PLEASE do that for me?
Week 1 of training complete. I found a training schedule that met up a lot closer with my current level of fitness than the one I posted on here earlier. Week 1 was supposed to be just three 2 mile runs. Piece of cake, right? Wrong. Every single time I have run for the past two weeks has just sucked. Its not enjoyable at all. Every step I take I am telling myself to quit. Motivation is gone!!!! The last 2 runs I haven't made it more than a mile before I had to stop and walk. I went 3 miles tonight and had to walk/run the last 2 miles. The positive thing is that I covered the ground I was supposed to cover.
I am so zapped. I have insomnia. Sometimes I don't sleep for the whole night, and then I have to get up and run...sometimes I go upwards of 30 hours without sleep. I don't know why. My body is tired but my brain won't shut down. I have probably slept a total of 12 hours in the last week, and it's only getting worse.
There are also some personal things going on with me that I'm trying to resolve.
I'm HOT. The heat and humidity down here is stifling, even early in the morning and late at night.
It is a conglomeration of a lot of things I suppose, not the least of which is that my motivation is just flat out diminished. I don't know how to get it back. I feel like I'm spiraling out of control!
I'm panicked. I can't think or write very well tonight. I don't know what to do, I keep picking myself back up, but I keep falling back down!
And I LOVE to read running blogs, by the way, but perhaps I need to stop. Nobody else seems to struggle with themselves so much! It seems like everyone else has a much easier time remaining consistent.
Maybe I'm just a loser.

4 comments:

  1. I found your blog via the C25K page on facebook, so I'm confused why you're trying to do three 2 mile runs in the first week.

    W1 of the C25K plan is intervals of 90 seconds walking, 60 seconds jogging.
    http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml

    And you might want to deal with your insomnia before starting a running program. You can't run on empty!

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  2. So instead of focusing on running and being bored with it, just focus on staying consistent. Don't wear yourself out on the first mile running the whole way, most people end up running way too fast when they start, so stay consistent with your jog / walk intervals from mile 1 to mile 3. I promise that in 2 weeks you'll adjust to the heat and humidity and it will get a lot easier. The easier it is, the more fun it is! I promise. I started 4 years ago dreading running a mile...now I'm hooked on marathons.

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  3. Rochester- she is on a training program for a half marathon now, after graduating the C25K.

    Jen, my friend, give yourself a break! Listen to yourself-- you never even gave yourself a chance to be consistent -- you just kept pushing yourself to the limit. That is awesome!! But, maybe it was too much.

    And... we do tend to overthink things... so maybe you need to re-structure the way that you are thinking during the run. Or, find a really cool running podcast to listen to. I just started listening to r3podcast.blogspot.com, and the http://4feetrunning.blogspot.com/ ones are awesome, too.

    Hang in there, chica. *hugs*

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  4. Jen, look at jeff galloways half program. definitely tamer than other half schedules i've looked at. :)

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