Things are going better, sort of. I still haven't had the good run that I really need in order to start repairing some of my shaken confidence. BUT I have slept the past 3 nights in a row (ok, aided by a little Excedrin PM, but I had to do something) and so I'm feeling more human.
And last night I had 2 miles on the schedule, so 2 miles I ran. It was still 103 degrees at 8:30 last night with 89% humidity. So instead of just hitting the road, I decided to go to my local track. That way I could keep water right next to it when I needed some. I don't have a hydration belt, so I usually just drink water before my run and after. Heather came with me and she had the brilliant idea of bringing a bucket of ice water and some washcloths to douse ourselves in when we got too hot. All of this helped us to finish the 2 miles even though it was still really hard. I am proud to say that I ran the entire distance, but I did have to stop between laps in order to cool off and sip water.
It's hard to believe that a few weeks ago I was running 2 and 3 miles without stopping. Lately its just difficult to breathe in the heat and humidity. I get winded so much sooner, and it feels like I'm just learning how to run again. But instead of using the weather as an excuse to throw in the towel, I decided to just calm down and do what I could do in order to finish. For me, that meant stopping every 1-2 laps and taking a short hydration break and pouring cold water all over myself.
The race in October has really been psyching me out lately, so I'm choosing not to think about it anymore right now. I am following my chosen training schedule, and I'm only looking at the day that I'm on. No more peeking ahead, although I already know what it says. I may not be ready to run this half marathon by race day, but if I'm not, it won't be because I got too freaked out in the middle of the summer and talked myself into quitting.
So, anyway. Things still aren't going smoothly, but they are going. Finishing those 8 laps at the track last night was a big accomplishment. I suffered, and I adapted, and I finished. If I can just keep doing that, then I can continue my forward trudge.