Saturday, November 6, 2010

Beginning To See What the Problem Is

OK, so my race was two weeks ago and the glow that I've been basking in is finally starting to let up a little bit. In its place (unfortunately) some hard realities are setting in. I haven't been doing much as far as diet or exercise goes the past two weeks, but the one thing that I have been doing (give myself a quick pat on the back) has been tracking my calories. This isn't like the other times I've tracked know, do it for a few days while I'm motivated and being super good, and then when its time for the huge piece of chocolate cake, I'm done tracking...has anyone else ever been like that? Or am I the only completely pathetic one here?
ANYHOO, so I've tracked them-the good, the bad, and the ugly. I haven't restricted my calorie intake, but have just eaten completely normally. This has been soo eye opening. Here are some things I've learned about my eating habits:

  • On my worst days, I take in about 2900 calories.  That's a lot, but less than I would have thought my binge days would be. I was thinking at least five or six thousand?
  • On my good days, I eat around 1400 calories.
  • Even on my good days, I still have the form of candy, cookies, or cakes.
  • On EVERY SINGLE DAY, I have gone over my recommended sodium intake. On some days, I've more than doubled it, but even on the best day that was recorded, I went over by 300mg.
  • I give myself more credit for eating vegetables than I deserve. I eat meat, carbs (like rice and potatoes), fat, and sugar sugar sugar.
So...yeah. Maybe I'm running across some clues as to why I'm not losing weight? Is excess sodium a factor in obesity? I LOVE ME SOME SALT.

Oh, another thing I've noticed, now that I've been paying more attention. This last week was super stressful, especially yesterday. I've realized that when I decide that I'm dealing with undue stress that I do not deserve, I give myself total license to eat whatever I want to that day.

I'm sure that the scale is going to be very harsh with me on Monday morning. I expect it, and I know that I deserve it. BUT I'm not going to say that these last two weeks have been for nothing, either. I've spent a good deal of these last few years feeling helpless when it comes to food and weight gain, and paying no attention to my diet. At least now I'm getting to know my habits better, and I truly believe that information is the first step. I know this probably sounds silly, but seeing my food intake right there in black and white is a lot different than grazing through my day and forgetting about the food as soon as I've eaten it. ( I bakes sugar cookies yesterday and ate NINE of them. NINE!!!! I'm so ashamed of myself)

Another thing I've learned: trying to will myself to NOT do something is a lot harder than getting off the couch and doing something. In other words, it takes ten times more mental stamina for me to resist a sugar cookie than it does to go on a 5 mile run. But this is what it comes down to..this is the real battle!

Does anyone have any advice as to how to proceed forward from this point? Should I post what I eat every day for accountability? That would get boring to read, right? Should I make a ridiculously hard to accomplish goal, like losing 50 pounds in the next three months?  Or should I just shut up and eat poached chicken and celery for every meal? I see so many of you resisting temptations and I do NOT envy the kind of things that you're eating, but those numbers on the scale keep going down!! Maybe I should just grow up, right? Its just that I KNOW I could lose weight on some kind of Jenny Craig diet, but I also KNOW that I would gain it back once it was over. I really just want to "fix" my disordered eating so that this won't be a problem again.

HELP me.


  1. What about choosing one thing each week to work on. Like this week I'll give myself permission to eat three cookies not nine. And stop at three. Next week I'll work on making a menu for each day ahead of time. Calculate the calories ahead of time and factor in a treat. Depriving yourself of the goodies is only going to make them shout to you louder. Get back to running and eat with moderation. No one said you have to give up the fun stuff. Just balance it with the promises you make to yourself. You are doing great. And you're right...information is key.

  2. Debbie is right about not depriving yourself. That will only cause binging. I agree with her suggestions and would add that there are many ways to reward yourself. It might start with a snack once a week, but you could move that too buying yourself a new pair of jeans to compensate for the weight your losing instead. Once you get to start buying smaller clothes the snacks wont be missed so much.