Saturday, January 8, 2011

9:23 p.m.

It's 9:23 on a Saturday night and I just stopped myself in the middle of begging my husband to go buy me the biggest, greasiest cheeseburger he could find. I've already had all of my calories today, but for some reason I'm not caring so much right now. I'm STARVING. I want GREASE. I want a fatty, drippy, cheesy, meaty, heart attack inducing cheeseburger and THEN I want to have a cigarette.

Ahhh...the old days.

These past few days my cravings for all old vices have been bad. I'm not in the best place mentally. I've gained weight the past two weeks in a row and I'm terrified of that number on Monday. The old "screw it" side of me keeps trying to pop up and tell me its hopeless anyway, I've lost all the weight I'm going to lose. Just eat some grease.

No burger for me. No food of any kind. I will get through this craving, but I'm still scared that it won't matter in the long run. I'm still scared that I can't lose weight. Weird.


  1. Hang in there. I know we all have these temptations from time to time, but are doing great, the greasy food while delicious is not worth it. Our health is more important, although I´ll confess I had the same problem yesterday with pizza..all I wanted was pizza. Good luck.

  2. You can do this! My "fu67 it" attitude has been in full force this week but we have to to fight it! So I am rebooting myself on Monday and will try again to get through this! Let's battle this together! Just one step at a time!

  3. Have you tried a black bean burger? Those help me BIG time!! I also bake sweet pot. fries. You know I like to get my eat on something serious ;)